Irish Hellos And...Fiction!
One joy of travel is picking up new phrases and slang from different countries. I remember drinking a pint with a couple from Britain after the Queen died. The woman didn’t use the words “sad,” or, “heartbreaking.” She said, “It’s a bit grim innit? I’ll admit, I’m quite mardy ‘bout it all.” The French, who can pump drama into anything, have philosophical phrases for even the most ordinary situations. Sitting outside a bar with my Parisian friend, Fleix, eating dry hotdogs at 3 am, he said, “La faim est le meilleur vinaigrette,” which means: Hunger is the best dressing.
Not all expressions you learn overseas translate from one language to the next. The French phrase, “avoir le cul bordé de nouilles,” means “to have incredible luck.” Translated word for word in English, however, and you get, “have your ass rimmed with noodles.” I still jump at the opportunity to use this phrase when possible, as it doesn’t sound, unlucky.
One night in Colombia, I explained to a friend’s girlfriend the American phrase, “Weird flex, but ok...” This is used when you see or hear someone brag about something awkward or strange, or be “extra” at an odd moment. It took a few times for her to get it right. She’d throw the phrase out after someone ordered a second martini or an extra appetizer for the table. “Close, but not quite,” I’d tell her. It was when we saw a street performer juggling bottles of fire on a unicycle at a crosswalk that she found its proper place.
One of my favorite expressions to explain (and put to practice) is, “The Irish Goodbye.” This is when you leave a party without saying goodbye to anyone, either because you’re too drunk, or saying goodbye would take forever. “He drank too much, so I got us a taxi and we Irished Goodbyed.”
The Germans call this a “French Exit” but use it when someone sneaks away without paying their tab. I don’t know the origin, but I assume a french couple dined and dashed at a German restaurant at some point and the phrase stuck.
During a scan of Urban Dictionary, I came across the term, “Italian Goodbye,” which is when someone gets angry and storms out of a party without warning, probably with an Aperol Spritz in hand. “Ba da bing, ba da boom, I’m done with you!” Of course, before I read the definition, I figured an “Italian Goodbye” would be when you leave a party early so you can grab a piece of pizza.
What sent me to Urban Dictionary in the first place was to find a phrase to describe the opposite of an Irish Goodbye: Showing up without saying hello. To saunter into a dinner party for the first time without saying anything, as if you’d been there for hours.
It turns out this is just called an Irish Hello. Although, when I asked an Irish friend to confirm, he said, “No, no. An Irish Hello is when a girl flashes you on Saint Paddy’s day.” Either way, an Irish Hello is what I’m attempting here in this email. I don’t want to draw attention to my lack of publishing regular newsletters. It would be great if we could all pretend like I’ve been here all along. I know, “weird flex, but ok…”
Reply with your favorite international phrases or slang so I can add to my list!
Publishing (The Wrong Side Of Cringe)
Besides a few essays here and there, I really only wrote in my journal throughout 2022. I spent the previous year studying fiction and writing short stories, which I planned on publishing but never did. Life had other plans.
On a long enough timeline, the things you write tend to end up on the wrong side of cringe. I love the stories I wrote, but now that I’m a few years removed from the process, it feels like someone else wrote them (I don’t know who he is but he has a sick sense of humor).
I don’t have a name for the series of stories—or any plans to publish them anywhere but here—but I’ve been told by friends they feel like, “South Park meets Black Mirror,” which sounds pretty cool to me. Some are probably rated R, and certainly (hopefully) not for everyone. I’ll share a link to the first one in the series at the end of this email.
Just one more bit of housekeeping in the main room before we head to the dungeon…
This Newsletter is Moving To Paid 💸
Because I’m adding fiction, along with more essays and emails, I’m introducing an option to become a paid subscriber. For now, all new stories and essays will be free for the first 7 days of publication, then move behind the paywall. We’re going to see how this goes. This move is to create some extra skin in the game so I can write more often and publish more consistently. Accountability, I think it’s called.
If you're not sure you want to pay for The Temperature Check, you can stay here for free. You’ve probably already been here a while (thank you!). But if you want to support my work and keep a little wind in the sails to keep the work going, consider becoming a paid member for $7 per month, or $60 per year ($5 per month). I’m going to come up with more perks so we go along.
I want to add more Q&As, behind-the-page writing insights from the fiction, and other perks for paid subscribers.
You can take a look at the different options here:
You can also reply and tell me: What would you like to see or read here for $7 per month?
True Fiction From The Future!
Here’s the first story I wrote. It might not be the first in the series, but it’s one I started in 2019 that set the mood for the stories that followed. The burning bush off in the distance that said, “Walk this way.”
Put the kids to bed and try to stay on the right side of cringe. Click to read, if you dare…
The Temperature is one, long, weird-flex man… 🔥